Wow!  I haven't written in forever.  Funny thing is, I don't really know what to say...

at least I'm updating...if anyone's interested anyway..haha

I AM NOT A CHRISTIAN...I AM A DISCIPLE OF CHRIST JESUS...AND I WILL NEVER BE ASHAMED!  NO MATTER THE PERSECUTION, THE REMARKS, THE HARD HEARTS, THE DISAGREEMENTS...I WILL STAND FIRM TO THE END.  MY GOD IS WORTH IT AND HE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR ME.

Why is it so difficult for some people to believe that there ARE actually amazing people out there, girls and guys, that have standards set above reproach, wisdom learned from Jesus himself, who don't have more than one motive when it comes to just doing a nice thing because you love people, love people for who they are no matter what it costs them, and genuiniely are in love with Jesus EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK (not just Sundays), and live a life of wild abandonment and worship to their King.

These people DO ACTUALLY exist.  I've recently met several, one in particular, and I am highly blessed, honored, and priviledged to call him my friend.  Whoever you are, and you know who are...thank you for hope.  Thank you for the choices you make everday solely for the KING and for well being of others.  Jesus delights in your obedience.  I give Him all the glory for blessing me with your beauitful friendship.

Lord, transform me daily, teach me for I am willing to continue to learn even the heardest of lessons, and help me to love you above all else. 

WHOM HAVE I IN HEAVEN BUT YOU

AND THERE IS NOTHING ON EARTH THAT I DESIRE BESIDES YOU.

MY FLESH AND MY HEART MAY FAIL, BUT GOD IS THE STRENGTH OF MY HEART AND MY PORTION FOREVER.

PSALM 73

You, well,  those of you are interested in my entries, are in fact witnesses.  To what?  Two entries ago, I cried out for answers.  Last entry, I gave it all up to Him who holds the answers and I admitted that all I need is Him.  This entry, I'm praising God for answering me.  He answered me, in His perfect timing, by sending me an acceptance letter to the TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages) course in Lebanon, PA! 

Do I know where God will send me after TESOL?  NO.  Am I stressing that I don't know?  NOT ANY MORE.  Am I completely and totally excited for his plans to be revealed in the most crazy, unforseen ways?  Oh YEAH!

Oh yeah, for those of you who are completely confused at why I want to learn how to teach english, there are a lot of people in third world countries that need to learn english and can't because no one can.  It just so happens, that many of these people live in muslum countries, so telling the people at immigration that you want to teach people english...is an awesome way to be allowed in.  So, not only will I be equipped to help people speak a very helpful language...but I can teach them the gospel!  Hooray for Godly opportunities!!  YAY!

So...I will be gone from January 20th- February 16th (ish).  So, its basically a lot of learning going on in about 4 weeks.  Challenging?  YES...AND EXCITINGLY SO! 

If you happen to read my entries at all, please disregard the last one.   I DO NOT need answers.  I just need to finally learn how to rest, stop beating myself up for things I think I could be doing wrong, stop trying to "figure myself out", and just BE with Jesus.  This is what I seek...

"MY GOAL IS GOD HIMSELF

NOT JOY, NOR PEACE, NOR EVEN BLESSING,

BUT HIMSELF, MY GOD"

~Oswald Chambers~

"Himself...my God"

THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT THING!

What if the answers I'm trying so hard to find...are really, just right in front of my face?  Man, I wish I knew either way.  Then, at least I can stop asking stupid questions and start looking and moving in the right direction, since there seems to be so many options at this particular crossroad.  Little clarity on this, Jesus?